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Why do so many men struggle to ask for help when caring for someone living with dementia? In this episode of The Dementia Collective, Andrew Karesa sits down with Ron Beleno, caregiver advocate and leader in the aging and dementia space, to explore the role men play in dementia caregiving and why many feel pressure to handle the responsibility alone. Ron begins by sharing his own caregiving journey after his father was diagnosed with dementia in 2007. Over more than a decade of supporting his father, Ron experienced firsthand the emotional and practical realities of caring for a parent with dementia, and how that experience shaped the work he does today supporting caregivers across Canada. Much of the conversation centers on the expectations many men carry when they step into caregiving roles. Ron reflects on the pressure to remain strong for the family, to manage dementia care independently, and how those expectations can make it difficult for male caregivers to ask for help or build support networks early in the journey. Andrew and Ron also explore the idea of the care team and why dementia caregiving becomes far more sustainable when responsibility is shared. Rather than trying to manage everything alone, Ron speaks about the importance of inviting others into the journey, whether family members, friends, community supports, or what he describes as “caring community members.” The conversation also touches on caregiver mindset and the internal conversations many caregivers have with themselves. Ron discusses how stress, responsibility, and cultural expectations can shape the way caregivers think about their role, and how reframing those expectations can help families navigate dementia with greater confidence and connection. Throughout the episode, Ron returns to a consistent theme: that caregiving does not need to be carried alone. Building a care team early can transform the experience not only for the caregiver, but for the person living with dementia as well. In this episode: • Why men are often underrepresented in dementia caregiving conversations • The pressure many male caregivers feel to manage dementia care alone • Why asking for help can feel difficult for men caring for a parent with dementia • The importance of building a care team early in the caregiving journey • How caregiver mindset shapes the dementia caregiving experience • The role of caring community members in dementia support networks • Why sharing responsibility can make caregiving more sustainable Whether you are caring for a parent with dementia, supporting a loved one living with Alzheimer’s disease, or trying to better understand the caregiving experience, this conversation offers thoughtful insight into the challenges many families quietly navigate and the importance of building support along the way. Learn more at:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠ https://www.ronbeleno.com https://wecanbe.ca ——— Join The Village and help shape conversations like this by submitting questions to our guests: https://www.patreon.com/cw/blueBellVillage ——— Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members. 1:26:30
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Why Men Struggle to Ask for Help in Dementia Care (with Ron Beleno) | EP31

What does it mean to love someone whose personality is changing and to slowly realize it is not them? In this episode, Andrew Karesa sits down with Erin Chalmers, co-anchor of Global Edmonton Morning News, daughter, caregiver, and Board Member of the Alzheimer Society of Alberta and Northwest Territories, to talk about her mother’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis and the quiet shift from confusion to clarity that many families experience. Erin shares what the first signs looked like in 2022, the moment her family realized something deeper was happening, and the decision to be proactive instead of reactive. She opens up about sitting down with her mom early to talk through care preferences, navigating a system that can feel fragmented, and learning to separate the disease from the person she loves. The conversation moves beyond logistics. Erin reflects on how caregiving reshaped her identity, how she learned not to take certain behaviours personally, and why the phrase “that’s the disease” became a turning point in her understanding. She speaks candidly about advocating during a hospital stay, the emotional weight of watching cognition fluctuate, and the importance of day programs and structured support for caregivers. Together, Andrew and Erin explore what meaningful caregiver support actually looks like in Alberta, why the system often relies heavily on families to coordinate care, and what she hopes changes for the next generation. They also discuss what initially drew her to blueBell Connect, the importance of centralized communication within family care teams, and the kind of families who would benefit most from a personalized coordination tool. In this episode: • The early signs families often question or dismiss • Why being proactive after diagnosis matters • How to separate the disease from the person • What hospital experiences reveal about gaps in dementia care • The emotional cost of caregiving and how to avoid losing yourself • Why day programs can be a lifeline for families • What meaningful caregiver support in Alberta should look like • How centralized communication tools can reduce stress and confusion Whether you are walking through a new diagnosis, supporting a parent from a distance, or working within the healthcare system, Erin’s story is a reminder that even as memory changes, identity and dignity remain. Connection is still possible. She is still there. Learn more at:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ——— Join The Village and help shape conversations like this by submitting questions to our guests: https://www.patreon.com/cw/blueBellVillage ——— Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members. 1:18:55
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She’s Still There: Separating Alzheimer’s from the Person You Love (with Erin Chalmers) | EP30

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Want more informative and impactful demetia content? Check out The Dementia Collective for more information.